-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
I’ve realized that you can’t really hack someone’s tumblr like you can on Facebook. On Facebook you can update a status to say, “I like dick in the eyeball,” and everyone would be freaked out. On tumblr, people would be like, “yeah man me too.” Then post a gif from supernatural.
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person
when you say something funny and your friends laugh